Fran Meets Fran

Last night’s workout was the one called “Fran”:
21 thrusters
21 pull-ups
15 thrusters
15 pull-ups
9 thrusters
9 pull-ups
It sucked. I felt scattered and weak yesterday, mentally and physically. When asked if I could do the thrusters with 65 pounds or if I should use the empty bar, I had no idea. I tried doing a couple of thrusters with 65 pounds to see how heavy it would feel. Twenty-one reps would have been difficult (even in a broken set), but I felt I could have survived it. But the consensus among the other women was to remove the weight and just use the bar, and the men seemed to want to use 65 pounds instead of the default 95 pounds, so Dave reduced the weight for all of us.
For thrusters, you rack the weight on shoulders and open fingers, like in a front squat, and then jump it up overhead. I flew off the ground with my jump and the weight shot up high with little effort. Sixty-five pounds would have been a lot more challenging and I would have felt better about it. But part of the point of “Fran” is to work as fast as you can, so maybe it was better this way. If I hadn’t felt so scattered and unsure of myself yesterday, I would at least have tried to start heavier and go lighter if needed.
In any case, my pull-ups failed so fast that my speed was reduced dramatically despite the unbroken sets of thrusters. I used the lightest rubberband for pull-up assistance, but I ended up thinking I would have been better off without it. I might be wrong, but I think unassisted, kipping pull-ups would have been easier than the dead hang that the rubberband necessitates. The rubberband hooks under my feet, so I’d either snap out of it or drop it off my feet if I swung my body and bent my knees for the kip.
As it was, I kept having to stop and put my feet down, let go of the bar, jump up again, get back into the rubberband, do one or two reps, and do it all again. I really want to swear off the rubberbands and learn how to break up a set of 21, 15, and 9 kipping pull-ups as efficiently as I can to get through a workout like this. My total time was 9:54. Our very tough and fast pal Erika finished in something like 6:50. I think she was the first woman to finish.
Tom and I went out for burgers afterward and then went home and had ice cream. Terrible! I felt like I had this unsuccessful workout and then overate on top of it.
That makes me think: if I consider last night’s workout unsuccessful, what would have made it a success? I think I would have felt good if I’d been able to organize my broken sets of pull-ups more efficiently and do them more independently, without the help of spotters or someone to pull the rubberband down around my feet. Objectively, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with needing help. Privately, I want to do everything perfectly all by myself! This reminds me of my aunt telling me that when I was four years old, I refused to take swimming lessons, saying “I can’t take swimming lessons because I don’t know how to swim.”